I came across a brilliant example of a teacher doing this today in school. A child aged 10 was upset because he hadn’t been chosen for the school football team and he picked up a chair and went to throw it across the room. His class teacher intervened and had to restrain him for his own safety and to protect the other children in the class. Whilst the teacher was holding him, he was raging and lashing out and she got bruised and kicked in the process. Afterwards I was talking to her about the child who has witnessed domestic violence on several occasions and finds it extremely difficult to manage his feelings. I explained why it can be so difficult for him to manage any feelings of failure and why he has such poor impulse control. She expressed her concern about him and his upset and her desire for him to feel ok about himself. I was amazed at her ability to separate the child from his behaviour and to still be able to focus on how she could help him with this, especially after she had been physically hurt in the process. I wondered how many of us would be able to do this?
- The importance of good working relationships
- Not making assumptions about children’s understanding
- My needs don’t matter – the danger of children being people pleasers
- Is this child “having a drama” or is it a lack of resilience?
- From snatching to sharing…..the benefits of emotionally focused group work